Unfinished

                                                        

Do you ever feel dissapointed in yourself for not meeting your own expectations? Does your life feel like a bunch of unfinished lists and projects? Does it seem like everyone around you is running and your walking but still out of breath? Me too. This is for you.

Lately I've felt rather dissapointed in myself. This shouldn't matter because I've been making great strides in other areas, but it does. You see I often expect quite a bit from myself and when I don't meet those expectations, I feel like a failure. I know you can't conquer the world in a day, yet I still try. I know you shouldn't compare your chapter three to someone's chapter 15 but I still do. My thought process looks something like this - If I do A+B and it doesn't equal C, then what was the point? Time for real talk. I planned on starting a business by the end of this summer, but that didn't happen. I also planned on going back to school this fall, and that didn't happen either. Inspiring right? Nope.

So why right about my unfinished goals? Because maybe others like myself have set big goals for themselves with very short deadlines and not met them, and are also feeling like failures. But your not and I'm not either. How can I be so sure? Philippians 1:6 "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." Because I am an unfinished work that God has promised to complete. And you can trust that He will complete you too. It's good to set goals and meet them, but it's ok if their still waiting in the future, it's ok if their unfinished. God has begun a good work in us, and if your shaking your head because you haven't let him yet, it's never too late to let Him begin. 

I believe we are made to be ever changing, ever growing, ever evolving beings. We are made to be like a puzzle piece, with multiple pieces, shapes, colors. With the choices we make daily, the experiences we have, the relationships we invest ourselves in, and the moments we choose to be present in. I often think If I attain a certain piece of the puzzle I will finally be complete/finished/fulfilled. For you it could be a job title, a certain size house, a certain social status, etc. But those things won't complete you. We are in a constant process of being made, of "becoming" if you will. 
Maybe you just see something that didn't happen (again) or something you didn't do, but I promise you if you look closer there are victories happening beneath the surface. It's ok if you're  "Unfinished". It's ok to be still learning about who you are, your dream to still be growing, your art to still be evolving, or your desire or hopes are to still be getting shaped. You are a good work being made, and there's a good work going on inside you. Even if all you see is the "unfinished".

When I look past the unfinished goals, and the disappointment, I see other things happening.
My husband, son and I moved over the summer. To a new home, new city. I've been making a home. We've been finding/pursuing community. We've been finding a new rhythm for our lives. My son just turned two this past week, and for the first time in a long time I feel like I'm actually being his mother. I know I was his mother before, but now were playing together everyday, learning new things, hanging out with other mom's and kids. I've been making small steps towards simple living; decluttering,cooking meals from scratch, just recently brewing my own kombucha and keeping chickens! And will hopefully be starting a garden soon. Moving/making a home/being a mom/finding new community/pursuing simple living is a big thing. Maybe bigger than I think it is. Maybe so big that some of my other goals need to happen later than I planned for. I didn't mention the things I'm doing to toot my own horn. I mention them so that you can see small victories in your life .It's ok if you haven't "finished" a certain goal yet. But you could be making new friendships, learning new skills at home or at work, showing up in your parenting or marriage in a new way, or moving or starting a new job. It could be the things happening in your life right now are bigger than you think, so big that certain goals you've planned for might just happen a little later than you planned for. 

And that's ok. Better than ok really. If your feeling unfinished and all you see is failure, and all you feel is disappointment, rest assured something's going on. Something bigger than you think. 
Quiet your mind, get quiet before God, and open your eyes. 
I hope you see more than unfinished goals. I hope you see a good work going on, a grand cathedral under construction, a bunch of beautiful puzzle pieces creating one magnificent masterpiece, even if it's unfinished.